This blog was inspired by 31 for 21 & is about my wonderful family.

"As a mother, my job is to take care of what is possible & trust God with the impossible." ~Ruth Bell Graham

"Never look down on someone, unless you're helping them up!"

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Satan 23, Forrester family 0

     The past month has been nothing short of a whirlwind!  It's like things just keep piling on my family.  I know it's satan trying to break us.  I know that my family will stand victorious.  And I know that we will be so much stonger for overcoming these battles.  I just wish satan would retreat already!

     Our round of attacks began in November.  I found out that I may lose my disability pay.  I had to have a physical & then a decision would be made based on the results of that physical.  As of today, no decision has been made, to my knowledge.

     Then in December, Troy & Mackenna became very ill.  They were sick for over a month & none of the medications were helping them at all.  They finally turned the corner just before Troy's 4th birthday.

     Since then, satan has been standing in front of us with a sling shot!  And it seems like he's got a perfect aim!  So far, the score board reads: satan 23, Forrester family 0!

     I went last Wednesday for further testing on my heart.  I received the results of those tests on Monday.  Turns out that I have had a heart attack.  I don't know if it was when the chest pains began about 4-5 weeks ago, or if it was when I went to the ER for it on 2/16/13.  My blood pressure is not being controlled by the medication that my cardiologist put me on.  He told me that I could have many more heart attacks from this if we can't get it under control.  {On Monday, my BP was 150/106)  He doubled the dosage of my medication & told me to monitor my blood pressure & call him with those results on Friday.  If this medication isn't controlling it, he will have to intervene further.  He told me to take it easy.  No stress, no activity, just rest & relax until we can get this under control.  I just laughed at him.  I don't know how in the world anyone can live without stress.  And who in the world can just sit back & relax all day, everyday?  

     No stress.  Could someone explain to me how you do that?  Honestly, I'd love to know.  My husband says to me "Oh, you just do it.  Just sit on the couch & relax.  Don't do anything.  And stop worrying"  Sure, that's doable. 

     Here's what is on my plate at the moment:  1) I have chest pains daily...to the point where I have to take Nitroglycerin.  2) The Nitro pills cause me to have a HUGE headache on top of the headache I've had for a week due to 3) the muscle knots in my neck & shoulder.  4) I have plantar fascitiis that hasn't stopped hurting, in fact it's getting worse...had it for 8 months now. 5) The doctor bills are rolling in & piling up with more to follow so 6) I can't go to the doctor about these headaches, the muscle knots, 7) my chronic back & hip pain & plantar fasciitis 8) or the broken molar that I need pulled.  9) I may lose my disability pay, which will put us in a real bind.  10) My oldest son will be 16 in 9 days which means that 11) he'll be driving on his own.  12) He's failing Math II & 13) I can not stand his teacher.  14) My youngest son has a heart condition that I have to monitor 24/7!  15) I am on my own doing his therapies because  16) we can't find anyone who will actually help him.  17) I have a 10 (almost 11) month old daughter to raise (that I feel I'm failing miserably).  18) I have the most amazing husband...I also fail him miserably too.  He married a dud.  19I can't sleep.  I used to take 30mg of Melatonin until Dr. Oz said to stop using it....now I take 4 tsp of liquid Benadryl every night to even get a few hours of rest.  20) My husband's truck needs fixing, but he 21) can't take the time to fix it because of me.  22)  I am trying my best to keep this household running smoothly.  23)  And now Troy is getting another cold.  All of this following a miscarriage & a cancer scare.

     I so need a vacationBut it's like this (what I told my doctor when he suggested it).  When I do get a vacation, I feel like when I return from the vacation, that I need another vacation to recuperate from that vacationShoot, a date night with my husband would be fantastic...but then I would worry about my babies the entire time.  So it would be null & void.

     You know how you hear some people say "what else can happen to me?"  That's how I feel, but I KNOW that things could be so much worse!!!  And I would so much rather all of this pile up on me than my kids.  I just wish that it wasn't piling up on my husband, too.  He has been through enough! 

     I know that God is standing right beside me, holding my hand.  I am not doubting that one single bit.  Just please, keep us in your prayers.  We need them more than ever.  This situation with my heart is very serious & really scary.  


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