This blog was inspired by 31 for 21 & is about my wonderful family.

"As a mother, my job is to take care of what is possible & trust God with the impossible." ~Ruth Bell Graham

"Never look down on someone, unless you're helping them up!"

Sunday, August 26, 2012

All I can say is...WOW!

     I am the type of person who puts others before myself.  I've NEVER had a manicure, pedicure, or had my hair "done" by a professional (if I go to the salon, it's to get a hair cut for the cheapest price possible).  I don't go shopping for myself.  The last time I went shopping, it was because my mother & father-in-law gave me a gift card at Cato's for Christmas.  My 'dress' shoes are usually flip flops.  Never had a massage (other than the ones my husband gave me).  Not that anything is wrong with folks who pamper themselves, I just don't do that.  I think my husband & kids deserve that luxury.  :)  When someone asks me for help, I'm there.  You need my last dollar for a burger, sure...here you go.  And on the off chance that someone helps me, I return the favor.  Someone donates to my son's Buddy Walk, I don't care if it's my last dollar, I am going to donate to your child's Buddy Walk, or buy candy from them, whatever I can do to help you out.  I just don't understand why, when it's my turn to need something, NOTHING!  I know...I'm rambling & griping, but it just gets old.
     I am also the type of person that LOVES her children.  My 3 kids are the sunshine of my life & I would do anything for them (even let my son paint his new room Crimson..lol)!  I can't think of anything that will ever make me stop loving them.  Nor could I love one more than the other.  I'm sure anyone who knows me knows that I treat all 3 of my children equally.  Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day...you name it, I spend the same amount of money on them equally.  If I buy Troy a pack of cookies, or a toy, I buy the other 2 something of equal value.  That's only fair.  I try to spend an equal amount of time with all 3 (I say try because my oldest is a teenager AND he goes to school, so that's a hard one to do).  And when I'm older & have grand kids, I've informed Chancey (& will make it known to Troy & Mackenna when they're old enough) that I want my grand kids at least once a week.  All of them!  If I have 2 or 20, I want them ALL at my house.  NEVER, EVER, EVER will my grand kids even have to ask for permission to come over.  I'll be at every ball game, every cheer event, every awards ceremony, every assembly, baptism, etc.  And NEVER, EVER, EVER, under any circumstances will they ever cry to stay with me & hear "I'll walk you to the truck" to get them out of my hair.  There will be no excuses, period.  I don't have 'favorites' when it comes to my kids & I won't have favorites when it comes to my grand kids either.  And yes, I can honestly say that.  I've been the favorite & I've been the black sheep.  Being the favorite is awesome!  I was loved beyond measure & I still feel that love today...even though she's been gone a LONG time.  But, I've been (& still am) the black sheep on many levels.  And let me tell you, that is awful!  It makes you bitter, which is no way to be.  So, I try to be the better person & let God handle that on Judgment Day.  But on days like today, when my heart is broken for my kids, I tend to be a tad bitter.  I don't know whether to cry or scream...so I'll do a little of both.  And the only thing I know to do is love my children a little more, enough for those who put them on the back burner constantly...& put the ones who are 'playing favorites' on our back burner.  That may not be what God wants me to do.  I know he doesn't want me to be bitter...but I also know that he wants my kids to be loved EQUALLY!  So until I know of a better remedy...I'll put them ALL at an arm's length & put my kids close to my heart.

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