Welcome!

This blog was inspired by 31 for 21 & is about my wonderful family.

"As a mother, my job is to take care of what is possible & trust God with the impossible." ~Ruth Bell Graham

"Never look down on someone, unless you're helping them up!"

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My children

     My family is the most important people on this earth to me.  I met & fell in love with my husband in 1990, at the age of 14.  We have 2 PERFECT sons, Chancey & Troy, & our daughter is due in April.  Chancey will be 15 in March.  He has the most beautiful heart, he's so handsome, & did I mention how intelligent he is?  He plans on becoming a nurse when he 'grows up.'  He's taking a Health care course in high school that will help him prepare for college.  He wants to go to Vanderbilt University to pursue his medical career.  He LOVES sports, especially football, & video games.  He's a HUGE advocate for people with special needs.  He will stand up to anyone who makes fun of people with special needs, especially those who misuse the 'R' word.  He will open the door for anyone & respects his elders, which is something that is fading away this day & age.  He was taught manners when he was very little, & he still uses them today.  But he loves his little brother with his entire heart & soul.  It will warm your heart to see them interact.  I've had a countless number of people tell me how wonderful it is to see them together, that they can see their bond & unconditional love!  Troy will be 3 in January.  He is the most loving, wonderful, handsome, brilliant little boy I've ever met.  He's also the bravest boy I've ever met.  He's had OHS (open heart surgery) twice & valvuloplasty on his tricuspid valve...so that's a total 3 heart surgeries before he was even 2 years old.  He has tricuspid stenosis & will most likely have to have that valve replaced eventually.  But to see him, you wouldn't know that.  You'd see a determined toddler, who is happy go lucky, yet stubborn.  Despite all of his medical issues, he is thriving!  He LOVES Sesame Street, especially Elmo, & Mickey Mouse.  He can sense people who are genuine & will cling to those who show him unconditional love.  He works hard each & every day to reach his milestones.  Needless to say, I love my boys.  I am beyond proud of them...proud of who they are, proud of their accomplishments.  Does it hurt me that Chancey is a 'typical' child but Troy has Down syndrome?  Not in the least!  Am I ashamed that I have a child with special needs? NO WAY!  Do I hide the fact that Troy has DS?  Nope!  In fact, I try to educate others everyday.  Now, would I be hurt or disappointed if we found out that our daughter has special needs?  NO!  If that mattered to me or my husband, wouldn't we opt to do the prenatal testing?  Would we have even tried for another baby at all?  Now would I be happy if it turns out that God has blessed me with another child with DS?  You bet your life it would!  See, I view it like this.  God GAVE me Troy.  I didn't have a child that is considered 'abnormal' to society....God BLESSED me with this perfect soul who was made impeccable just for my family.  As a Christian, we see people who have children with special needs as being highly favored by God.  Therefore, if God blessed me with another child with special needs, then He is showing me favor, not cursing me.  But, do I pray that she doesn't have a heart condition?  YES!  I've watched Troy suffer...watched him code out right in front of my eyes.  I've had doctors tell me that he wouldn't survive.  I've had several friends whose children passed away way too soon because of their heart condition, & that's a scary thing.  It just rips my heart out of my chest!  I may be wrong in praying for a healthy baby.  But if she does have health issues, I won't love her any less...I won't wish her away...I won't resent her or God...I won't have a late term abortion.  I will love her just like I love my boys...in fact, I loved her the moment I found out I was pregnant...nothing will change that....not a heart condition, not Down syndrome, not Spina Bifida, not Cerebral Palsy...NOTHING!  That's like saying that I wouldn't love my baby if she turned out to be a boy.  Yes, I wanted a girl...always have wanted a daughter.  But that doesn't mean that I didn't want my boys.  God will give me the child that He sees fit...it's all out of my hands, out of the doctors hands, out of any one's control but His.  So when I'm happy that she is a girl, please don't judge me.  When I'm happy that she's healthy, please don't call me a bad mother or a selfish person.  Because I am sure that if you were pregnant that you wouldn't go up to your OB & say "Ok, Doc, on this ultrasound I hope you find out that my child will need countless surgeries, will endure extreme pain, go through months or years in the hospital, & require a lifetime of medications just to survive.  Don't you even dare tell me he or she is healthy because that's not what I want for my child."  So, then why is it so TERRIBLY AWFUL of me to pray for a healthy baby?  And why is it awful for me to be happy when I hear that she is doing well & to express that happiness?
     I hope that all of the people who were lashing out at me yesterday for being happy about the scan, will understand exactly what I meant in my status update on facebook.  Now with all of that said, I hope this subject can be laid to rest.  If you're still not convinced that I am proud of my children for exactly who they are, just keep reading my blog.  I hope that one of my entries will help you understand.

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