This blog was inspired by 31 for 21 & is about my wonderful family.

"As a mother, my job is to take care of what is possible & trust God with the impossible." ~Ruth Bell Graham

"Never look down on someone, unless you're helping them up!"

Monday, April 4, 2011

Everything happens for a reason!

     When I found out that my baby had a slim chance of having Down syndrome, I began researching it constantly.  I wanted to be prepared in case he did have DS & I wanted the facts.  As I researched DS, all I could find were statistics.  I wanted to know what I needed to learn in order to give my child the best life possible.  But I couldn't find anything.  And the facts were scary & overwhelming.  Then I found out that he did, in fact, have DS & I was heartbroken.  I wasn't sad that he'd be different, I was heart broken for him.  I know all too well how people can react when they find out your child is different.  I know how cruel kids & even adults can be to other kids, much less a child with special needs.  I knew that my son would be called the "R" word, mocked, & teased...that's what hurt.  I realized that I needed to turn it over to God, because He would prepare me, He would be the one to help me be the best mother possible.  Just then, a calm came over me & I knew that I'd just know what to do when Troy came.  But none of the materials I read would prepare me for this.  I never thought for a minute about how typical he'd be.  I never realized that he'd but more like us than different.  As I looked at him for the first time, I didn't see the Down syndrome or his heart condition.  I saw a perfect baby boy that looked just his daddy.  I saw his beautiful black hair, perfectly shaped face, gorgeous
almond shaped blue eyes, chubby & kissable cheeks, pouty lips, tiny & remarkable ears, BIG feet, & crooked fingers just like his mama, brother, & Papaw.  Other than his heart, I didn't think about the DS.  He was hitting his milestones on target until his first heart surgery, then he slowed down.  But that was okay...it's fine by me that he's a little slower in hitting his milestones, that just means he'll be my baby for longer.  :)  None of the things I read told me how he'd fall asleep in a few seconds of you stroking his hair, just like his daddy & brother.  They didn't tell me that he'd be a picky eater, just like his daddy.  They didn't tell me that he would have this unexplainable, inseperable bond with his brother or that he'd suck his thumb.  I didn't know he'd love playing pee-pie with his daddy or grandpa's hat.  Nothing told me that he'd love to play with his daddy's facial hair or that he'd love Elmo.  No one told me that he'd love to play ball, be read to, swing, ride in his car, & to be sung to.  All of the books said that he'd be slow to learn, wrong!  He's so smart.  Many of the materials say that he may not talk, but he does.  They are right in one aspect, that he's slow to grow....I do wish he'd grow a bit, just so his heart would have a chance to grow...then maybe he wouldn't need a valve replacement.  I've been told that early intervention is the key.  He has to have physical therapy twice a month, & he really needs to have OT & speech as well, but we can't find one that has worked with kids with DS that's in network for our insurance.  I do work with him most of the day, every day to help him in all aspects.  I try to teach him everything I can, but he's the one teaching me each & every day!  He has taught me so much in his short little two years of life.  Being a mother, I have learned a lot from my children.  They have shown me how to be more patient, how to love unconditionally, & how to slow down & enjoy the moment.  They've taught me that material things mean nothing, & instinct means everything.  I've learned to see the beauty in everything & that everything happens for a reason.  They make me want to be a better person.  I can be having a horrible day & just seeing one of them smile will melt all the stress away.  They've taught me forgiveness, sacrifice, strength, happiness, compassion, & much, much more.  I look at them & see just how blessed I am.  I don't need a fancy house, expensive cars, tons of money, or any material things as long as I know I'm saved by the grace of God & have the love of my husband & our kids, that's all I need!  My life is perfect just the way it is.  I wouldn't change one thing.  Nope, I wouldn't take away Troy's extra chromosome...I would take away his heart condition, & that's it.  Troy is perfect the way he is.  Some people may see him as a burden or a curse, but I see him as a blessing sent straight from God.  I see it as God giving me a compliment, because this is the best job in the world.  He trusts me with two special, precious souls & I thank Him every second for trusting me with them.  I just wish that I could talk to others in the same situation I was in nearly three years ago...hearing that my son has DS.  I know that I could save the lives of some perfect kids by showing these expectant parents that this diagnosis is just an extra blessing from God.  If they spent 15 minutes with Troy, their minds & hearts would be changed. 

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